Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
