well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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