he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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