I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Randomize