Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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