Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
