carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
