Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
