Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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