Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize
