it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
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