I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
