Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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