Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
