I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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