Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
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