Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
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