So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
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The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
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You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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