I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize
