Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Sext me about skeletons
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
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