i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
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