Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
whose ass print is on the piano?
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Randomize
