I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
