GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
