don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
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