I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
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