Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize
