physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
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