U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
