i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Your topless pictures make me question reality
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
