I hate your face
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize
