i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize