In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
