My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
