I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
