were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
