I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Randomize
