Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
