if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Randomize
