come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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