I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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