I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
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I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
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I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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