its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
