they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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