They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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