I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
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