I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
