i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Randomize
