airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
