I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Randomize
