it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
