your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
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he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
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