that's an acceptable place to lick
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
