My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
