who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Randomize
