On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
