i can't believe i had my finger in that
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
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