we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize
