Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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