That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize