i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Ladies don't puke and tell
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
