i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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