Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
This show inspires me to have sex in space
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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