Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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